Grif (one_drafted_man) wrote,

[PINmail] going once, going twice...

United Nations Space Command Priority Transmission 707649-26DC53/2010-1132FL20
Encryption Code: Green
Public Key: file/nexus/xanadu/
From: one_drafted_man
To: freedomthat
Subject: Auction contributions

/start main message/

Hey. We talked... recently (interdimensional time is a little weird on my end at the moment) about an auction you and your organization are running. Unexpectedly, I've managed to get clearance to offer some items for sale, though only on the condition that instead of getting to keep it, my portion of the proceeds will go to benefit the Black Mesa Global Defense and Reconstruction Fund.

(My handlers have further requested that the program and/or auctioneer make a note to that effect, because... I guess they think people there will care, I don't know.)

Rather than risk shipping them through the Nexus Post, I will be delivering them to the auction personally, but I've attached photos to this message depicting the items in question, so you have some idea of what they look like, as well as text descriptions provided with the assistance of the people on my end. There are multiples of some of the items; I leave it up to you whether to sell them individually or as sets. Also, some of the descriptions may include disclaimers on my behalf; you may wish to add some of your own.


(Or, if you want to be more formal, which I hardly ever do:

SSgt. Dexter Grif, United Nations Space Command Army
Seconded to Office of Naval Intelligence, Section I
On detached service to the Black Mesa Defense Facility)

/attachment: [PCV picture]/

Powered Combat Vest (4): The Powered Combat Vest (PCV) is a self-contained protective system for combat in hazardous environments. Electronic monitoring equipment built into the vest provides a Geiger counter and a morphine administrator, and the included gas mask includes night-vision and a heads-up display in the lenses showing information about the wearer's status.

Rather than direct armor plating, the PCV provides protection via a tuned EM field that hardens the fabric of the vest and absorbs impacts. This allows it to offer protection repeatedly, as long as the wearer recharges it between uses. The PCV's charging circuits are capable of adapting to most man-made power sources: Batteries, dedicated charging stations, even standard mains current are all fair game for the PCV.

NOTE: The seller does not encourage that the wearer attempt to charge the PCV via high-voltage sources such as a direct feed from an industrial electrical generator or being struck by lightning, and neither guarantees nor takes responsibility for the safety of the wearer should such an attempt be made.

/attachment: [Hivehand picture]/

Hivehand (1): The Hivehand is an organic weapon originating from the dimensional border world of Xen. It fits over the user's hand, allowing literal point-and-shoot aiming, further aided by the "hornet" rounds' homing capability. Its ammunition supply is self-regenerating, capable of producing eight hornets at a time for immediate fire.

NOTE: Should the buyer succeed in duplicating the Hivehand, the seller recommends against equipping a Hivehand in each hand, as it may make it difficult to take them off again.

/attachment: [Example Xen crystal picture]/

Xen displacement crystal (3): These crystals can be found growing in the dimensional border world of Xen. It is speculated that long-term proximity to these crystals is what caused the fauna of Xen to evolve their unusual displacement (teleportation) capabilities. Whether as a subject of study or simply a decorative accent, these crystals are sure to liven up any environment.

NOTE: The seller strongly urges that the buyer should never, under any circumstances, subject Xen crystals to an anti-mass spectrometer operating at 105% capacity. Should the buyer choose to disregard this warning, the seller makes no guarantees and takes no responsibility for any resonance cascades or other dimensional instability that may occur.

/attachment: [Headcrab picture]/

Headcrab (0): No, I'm not actually bringing any Headcrabs, but I thought you might like a look at what they really look like.

/end main message/
Tags: element|oni, element|technology, element|weaponry, element|where's grif?, messages|e-mail, people|bal-hasada tosipl, place|black mesa, plot|half-life ii
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